I have been on a job search now for almost two years…being a
Pastor is not an easy job market to be in these days. Never the less I continue to send out my
resume and wait months before I even hear one word from the search committee. Most often the response I do receive goes
something like this, “You have such wonderful experience and passion but we
feel you are not a match for what we are looking for.” I then wipe the tears from my eyes, pick
myself up from the crumpled mess on the floor and I begin the process all over
again. Needless to say it has been a
very frustrating and often disappointing process but I continue on because this
is the call that God has placed on my life.
Twice yesterday I was asked, “What is your dream job?”
I don’t think I have ever really thought about my “dream job”…at
least not in the specific way that gives it a title and job description. I truly want to be faithful to where and what
God is calling me to do. I have served
as an Associate Pastor at a number of churches. Some were good experiences while others…not so
much. I have learned a lot about myself
and developed new skills and abilities along the way. I have gained confidence in who I am as an
Ordained Minister of the Word and Sacrament but I believe I still have much to
learn. I struggle daily with my sense of
call and the direction to pursue – whether I should seek an Associate position
or a Solo Pastor position – and I have found it depends on the moment, in case
you are wondering what my answer is.
But, even then I don’t know what my Dream Job would look like…
But, the more I have thought about this question in the past
24 hours the more I think I have always had a dream job in my mind. For as long as I can remember I have always
wanted to be a wife and a mother! I have
always wanted to be just like my mom…who is an amazing mom! I love children and I have always dreamed of
having my own family, raising children, and growing old with the love of my
life. And yet for me this seems to have become
a distant dream…almost unattainable…as I am on the edge of 42! But, as I was lovingly reminded yesterday, nothing
is impossible with God!
It is difficult sometimes to think about my life and the
dreams I once so vividly had and not become depressed and disappointed with
what I have missed out on…because then I look at my life as it is and see all
the amazing things I have accomplished, the places I have been and the people I
have met. I think about the past 14
years I have had with REV. before my name and the amazing things I have been
able to do as I have served in the church.
And now I look forward to being able to add DR. to that in the near
future. I still have the dream of being
a mom – I think that would truly be that best job a girl could ever have- it
just looks different from what it once was.
So for now I continue to dream about the future…knowing that it is God who
holds my future and it is God who wants the best for me…more than I could ever
hope or even imagine. Until then, I will faithfully continue on my job search…one step at a time.
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